Moving through reality

Reality is always kinder than my thoughts are about a negative situation. I had a dramatic experience of this last summer, when I went on my second caving trip to the Horne Lake caves, BC. My first experience of caving with some friends was a lot of fun. We climbed and squeezed though little tubes and chambers, that I didn’t think I could get into. I felt very comfortable doing this, especially as my friend who was guiding us is very experienced.

On my second trip to the caves a few weeks later, I had equally as much fun and was not ready to quit when most of the rest of group was. So a couple of friends in the group suggested some caves up the hill. After a bit of a hike, we entered the first cave in a river bank and then climbed down into a chamber, a candle was lit and we hung out for a while chatting before exiting through a lower cave that was a long, low, crawl to the river.

The next cave was called the stethoscope, because you can hear your heart beat. To enter this cave we had to drop about 15ft down into a small crevasse in the ground that was about 3ft wide. That was the easy part, but this is where it began to get interesting for me. On the side of this crevasse was a crack which is called a fissure, about 3ft from the floor of the crevasse. The first member of our group of 3 went into the fissure, gentle brushing the spiders out of the way that inhabit the caves in the winter. He is a little bigger than I am but made it in. So did my friend that followed.

A tight squeeze.

I started to go into the fissure; it was just big enough to squeeze my body though if I kept my hands out straight. It went on in this manor for about 15 – 20 ft, as far as I could tell, before entering a chamber that I could not see but was told is down there. I started down the hole and made it in about 5 or 6 ft when I had an over whelming feeling of claustrophobia, not something that I usually experience . I lay there for a while hoping the feeling would pass but it seemed to grow worse. So I back out of the hole, took a few deep breathes and shook my head to try and clear the feelings that I had.

Not to be beaten that easily, I took my helmet off, thinking this might help and tried again. I got about the same distance in again before the same feeling came over me. After backing out, I decided not to try again at that time however; it really got me thinking about what had happened. I knew that the caves had been there for hundreds, if not thousands of years and was not in any hurry to move and the cave had no feelings or interest as to whether I made it or not. It just is what it is.

Reality is kinder than my thoughts.

I also knew that it was possible to make it in there, as my two friends had already achieved it. So there was only one conclusion that I was left with and that was that it had all happened in my thoughts, inside my head and nowhere else and had absolutely nothing to do with my physical environment or reality. It was really clear to me that my subconscious was throwing out thoughts that I was not even aware of and seemed to have little control over. At the same time, it had little, if any bearing on the reality at hand. In fact my thoughts had created a horrifying illusion about the situation.

The reality of the situation was,” A man crawling through a rock tunnel”, which was painless. Everything else that I experienced was the story I told about the situation, whether consciously or subconsciously.  My conclusion was that reality is a lot kinder and easier than the thoughts that I have about a situation most of the time. Thoughts just come through the mind, whether its a happy or distressing thought it really has little to do with reality and more to do with illusion and stories.

I came home and visualized going into the fissure and had the same feelings, but each time I visualized it I was able to go in a little further into the tube, until I was sitting in the chamber and the rocks had caved in blocking the entrance. I could not physically get out but I felt calm and it was just an adventure to dig myself out. If I’m going to tell a story it might as well be one that I like or love. I am now looking forward to returning to the cave to see how well my new story works when I’m in the tunnel again.

I have used this process many times on different things and am always amazed at how I can change my own reality. If it doesn’t seem to be changing there is usually an underlying story/belief that I have not got to yet. I find that rather than resisting my thoughts at this point, I try to embrace them and then they lose their power and leave me. Its like not arguing with someone who wants to argue, in the end they give up because there’s no point to it, if there is nothing to resist.

Beauty down under